Long distance relationship getting boring? 10 ways to fix it
If your long distance relationship has become boring, it is almost never because you have stopped caring. It is because the only thing you do together is talk, and after a few months of nightly calls there is not much new to report. The fix is to give the two of you something to do again. Here are ten ways, most of which you can try tonight.
Why long distance gets boring
Couples in the same city share a hundred small things without trying: errands, dinners, a show on the sofa, running into each other's friends. Long distance strips all of that out and leaves the call. The call becomes the whole relationship, and it is being asked to carry more than any phone call can.
So the call goes flat: “how was work?” “fine.” “what did you eat?” “pasta.” Nothing is wrong. There is just nothing happening. Put something back in the call and it comes back to life.
10 ways to fix a boring long distance relationship
1. Do something, instead of talking about something
Couples who live together rarely sit facing each other for an hour with nothing to do but talk. They cook, watch something, walk somewhere — and the talking happens around it. Give your call a thing to do. A game is the easiest: the conversation fills in the gaps on its own, and “how was your day” stops being the whole agenda.
2. Play against each other
A little rivalry is the fastest cure for a flat call. Try Quoridor Strategy Maze (block their path with fences), Crack the Code (who breaks the code in fewer guesses) or Poison Cupcake (you both poison the same tray in secret and then take turns eating). Keep a running score in your notes app. Bring it up at the next visit.
3. Play on the same team
After a hard week, being on opposite sides is the last thing you want. In Steady Hands you each hold one end of a plank and have to lift together; in Meet Me Halfwayyou can only see each other's maze, so you talk each other through. Winning together feels different to winning against.
4. Find out something new about them
Boredom often means you think you already know every answer. Vibe Checkis Guess Who with celebrities where no question is about a face — “would they have AI art in the hallway?”, “would your mother approve?” — and their questions tell you exactly how they see people. Jinx does it with words: any word you both find cancels out, so you see where your heads differ.
5. Laugh at something together
Scribble & Guess: one of you draws, the other guesses, ninety seconds on the clock. Nobody draws well on a phone, which is the point. A bad drawing of a giraffe becomes an inside joke for a year.
6. Turn one call a week into a date
Pick a night, dress for it, eat the same thing in both kitchens. If deciding what to do is where it dies, roll a D.A.T.E. — one dinner, one activity, one treat and one thing to watch, chosen for you. There is a longer guide to planning a long-distance date night.
7. Make something you both keep
Visits leave photos; calls usually leave nothing. The photo booth counts down on both phones at once and puts you side by side in one strip, even in different cities. One strip a month becomes a wall of them.
8. Have a ritual that isn't the call
A long game you keep coming back to gives you something between calls. Start a game of Classic Chess on Sunday and play a few moves a night, or keep a best-of-seven going all month. When they are asleep, practise against the bot and come back with a plan.
9. Shorter calls, more often — or the other way round
A two-hour call every night is hard to keep interesting for anybody. Try ten minutes on weekdays — a round of Speed Spot-the-Emoji and a goodnight — and save the long one for the weekend. Missing each other a little between calls is not a bad thing.
10. Put the next visit on the calendar
A lot of long-distance boredom is really drift: no end date, no next date, just calls. Book the next visit, even if it is months away, and start planning it together. Something to count down to changes how every call in between feels.
A plan for tonight
If you want to try something in the next hour, this is twenty-five minutes and needs nothing but two phones:
- 5 minutes: best of three at Don't Press Purple. Nobody can be in a bad mood watching the other person flinch.
- 15 minutes: one game of Vibe Check or Poison Cupcake. Talk the whole way through.
- 5 minutes: a photo strip in the booth to remember the night by.
To start: open crisskross arena, sign in with Google, pick a game and press host, and send your partner the link. The video call starts inside the room.
Questions people ask
Is it normal for a long distance relationship to get boring?
Yes. Most long-distance couples hit a point where the nightly call turns into a status update. It usually means you have run out of shared things to do, not out of things to feel. Adding an activity to the call — a game, a date night, a project — tends to fix it quickly.
What can I play with my partner long distance?
crisskross arena has 16 free two-player games with a video call built into every room: competitive ones like Quoridor, Crack the Code and Poison Cupcake, co-op ones like Steady Hands and Meet Me Halfway, and talkative ones like Vibe Check and Scribble & Guess. One of you sends a link, the other opens it, and you play on the same board from different places.
How do you make a long distance relationship less boring?
Give your calls something to do besides talk: play a game together, plan a proper date night once a week, make something you both keep like a photo strip, and put the next visit on the calendar so there is something to look forward to.
Are the games free?
Yes. No ads, no paywall, no premium tier, and nothing to download. One of you signs in with Google to start a room; the other joins from the link with a nickname.
What if the boredom is about something bigger?
Sometimes it is. If one of you dreads the calls, avoids talking about the future, or the boredom started after something went unsaid, a game will not fix that — a direct conversation will. Games are for when the feeling is fine and the routine is tired.
More to read: games to play with your long distance partner, planning a long-distance date night and free couple games online.
crisskross arenais free two-player games and a photo booth for people who aren't in the same room. → pick a game for tonight